I really just need to type.
This summer has been amazing. God wanted me to be an intern, He provided, I worked hard, I had the best summer of my life.
But this last week has been...crazy weird. I found out that my my best friend is leaving early, I get in a car wreck, another couple I grew up with got married, and today I actually had to say goodbye to my best friend. But the weird part, is that I'm okay with all of this. I'm not a very sentimental person because I try to prepare myself for hard stuff. And I deal with crisis situations because I don't like them, so I don't waste my time on them.
But...ROTC is freaking me out. Because it's an unknown for me. I don't know how it works, whats going to happen, how it's going to change my schedule, my college experience... I just don't know. And I don't like it. All I know is that I have to work really hard. I just want the 11th to come so I can take my test and get it over with. I go through daily stages of freaking out and almost crying. But then I'm fine an hour later...I just don't know what to think I guess.
The reality of it all: I know that it's what God wants me to do. For so many reasons. So the unknowns shouldn't bother me. That's what faith is. And I shouldn't just want to get it over with. I should work on developing patience. God called, He'll provide, I'll work hard, and it'll be a great thing in my life.
Lord, thank you for providing. Through all the craziness in this life, You never change. Not with the seasons, not with my mood, not with my age... You are the same. You are good.
And now, I sit here asking for your help. Not ashamed to say that I love You. Happy to say that I'm too weak to accomplish what You want me to do. Excited to say that I need You.
Confident that You will provide. You always have and You never change.
